What is it with clubs these days?! Is it just me or have the skirts got shorter, the necklines lower, and the drinks a lot stronger (should this be a complaint?!). Although I do have to admit that I myself have gotten much more conservative in my dress and my tolerance for alcohol has dropped like the beat the Beastie Boys were singing about in Intergalactic.
Walking into a new place especially a bar or club feels like entering a different country. There are specific rules and dress codes and behaviors that people adopt depending on where you are. In a dive bar people are beyond casual and you can expect your table to be covered with a layer of sticky beer but no one complains, the next patron just adds to it willingly. The air is stale and smells of cigarettes even if smoking was banned from bars five years ago. A club that charges you ten dollars to get in, on the other hand, usually has plush seating and shiny polished tables.
The patrons are dressed to the nines, even the guys look like they stepped of the cover of a magazine. Everyone is pretty here, even the plainest of the plain can pay ten dollars, step through the doors and instantly look fabulous. It probably has to do with the lights and the angle of the walls and the strategic placement of the mirrors. I know this because Alex and I went to a club exactly like this and when I walked in it was like a gust of wind blew around me and my hair got fuller, my lips got shinier and my bust got a little bustier. It seemed like I was doing one of those slow motion walks as I made my way towards the bar and heads were turning as I tossed my tresses back and forth and accentuated each step so my chest would bounce just that much more. And then I snapped back to reality when my stiletto high heel got caught in a crack in the floor and I left my shoe behind in a very Cinderella type way.
But damn was I working it for awhile, at least I thought until Alex rushed up behind me with my shoe and whispered that the breeze blew my skirt up and my entire rear end was exposed as I sauntered in the club. I felt like Ty in Clueless when she falls down the stairs when she walks into the party.
“Oh my gosh Alex!!! Now all night I’m going to be known as that girl who showed her butt.” I was beyond humiliated.
“Well at least you got a nice ass,” Alex said as she slapped my behind and ordered two shots of tequila. Indeed this was going to be an interesting evening.